Discomfort

"Something that disturbs one's comfort; an annoyance."

I've been thinking lately about change and discomfort. The basic things that make people feel alive, even if it isn't entirely pleasant. There is a huge amount of satisfaction that can be felt from comfort. From being surrounded by people you love and who love you. By going through familiar motions and routine. There is a warmth associated with that.

But what we associate with change, with novelty is something else. It is a more immediate feeling. Misrepresentation, questioning, uneasiness. At the same time, it pulls you deeply, vertically, into the present.

Lately I've been wondering whether there is an innate part in people that dictates whether they crave one or the other. Maybe some people need to be around the familiar where others, need to be on a constant path of discomfort, of change, to feel alive. Is the latter a form of addiction, avoidance or does it reflect a level of clarity? How do we know whether the way we are is simply, who we are, or if it is something we are in order to avoid certain realities?

For now I am performing a little experiment. Making the conscious decision to stay put in a place that really, offers me everything I could possibly want or need in a home...even though a large part of me still craves change. Most days I think I would be crazy to leave...others, crazy to stay when there is still so much I want to see and do all over the world. But at the end of the day I guess I am trying to incorporate both...stay present in my current reality while keeping myself open to any opportunity that might present itself. Will I ever get to the point where I seek those opportunities actively again? Who knows...stay tuned.

Update 03/10/09: an awesome early morning run on the seawall followed by a jaunt up to the farmer's market to buy 4lbs of my new drug of choice, the honeycrisp apple, was enough to place me firmly on the "i'd be crazy to leave this place" camp for a little while. The only thing that made me think twice were the buskers... Seriously people, why always the tin flute or penny whistle????

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